船到桥头自然直

I think i am quite independent. I mean since i come to uk. When i realized peoples in the earth is not as simple as i thought, I have realized that the safest way to achieve what i want is to depend on myself. 

You won't believe, before i come to uk, i was not dare to go anywhere by myself, i don't want to eat by myself, i won't go out if no one is going with me, i don't even dare to order food when eating outside. But can you imagine, now I always do everything by myself. I go to uni by myself, i buy everyday use in supermarket by myself, i settle all my bank stuff by myself, i work as part time by myself, i settle all the bills and rents by myself, i can travel a long journey to meet my friends (in UK!), i even went to some places i never been to, all by myself!

But now, recently, i feel so complicated.

Because i faced something that i realized i can't settle only by myself. I realized what i can do is limited. I realized the independent-me need help. And I realized there isn't many people i can get help from. And those who offer me help is not really happy to help.

Life is so real, I always know. Complicated is because i don't know, am i too independent, which cause me can't find someone who 心甘情愿 to help me as a friend? Should i try hard to settle everything by myself, even if I have to spend alot of money? or should i put down my pride and get help from others?

船到桥头自然直。

i wish this period will pass quicker.

everything will be fine. i can do it.